Why Me?

by Tammy Harris
(Lake Milton, OH)

First of all, I am 44yrs old (female) and just recently returned from hospital because I had a heart attack Oct.25th 2013.

It was a normal morning drinking coffee, watching the news and getting started with my day, when very quickly a burning sensation started in my chest. I am a smoker and honestly just thought smoked to much, really should quit these things..next came nausea, went to bathroom thinking I need to be sick, nothing, next came sweating, thought OH crap I have the flu, great just what I need, too much to do...WOW then came sharp pains in chest along with pain in back, both arms tingled and pain shot up left side of my neck in to my jaw, knew then this was most definitely not the flu, called my husband and then 911. They rushed me to the hospital and let me say the paramedics on scene were awesome, knew the signs and kept me and my husband calm, got me there and was sent directly to cardiac unit where they found 100% blockage in right artery and inserted a stent. Thankfully because of the quick response of the paramedics and the doctors and nurses at the hospital, there was no permanent damage to my heart.

But this is where the "why me" comes in, I have now experienced my entire life must change and I am constantly reminded that I have had a heart attack, and family and friends are great, but worried is not what I want, I want to feel me again before this, and yes I am aware of what happened and I have quit smoking, but I'm not dead and don't want everyone worried about what I am doing or being judged for that. I Sit back and wonder "why me" and it makes me angry, confused, scared, my numbers are all good and have been, I don't exercise on daily basis, but don't sit around all the time either, I was smoking, quit and have done well with that, however that poses stress issues, take one away, add another, but am very thankful that this was found and I was spared my life, I have 3 beautiful children, and a grand-daughter, a husband who I wouldn't trade for the world, family and friends who are there when I need them. So if you are feeling this way, please know you're not alone and these are real emotional feelings, I am planning on talking with my doctor about this, but plugging away and trying to be a normal as I can. I know things will get better, Patience is a virtue.

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Why me?
by: BT from nc

Here's another way to ask why me. Why me ... The one to survive the heart attack? Many don't. Why me ... No heart damage? Why me ... No brain damage? No triple or quadruple or quintuple bypass? No stroke? The second life you've been given is a sheer gift. To you. To your children. To everyone to benefit in any way from our existence. Why me? Because whatever purpose you have is clearly unfulfilled. You are needed. Enjoy the breaths you take. The steps you make. And every cigarette you no longer smoke. You dodged death. Must be a pretty good reasons. Plenty of heart attack brothers and sisters out here figuring out what their good grand glorious reasons are. Good luck finding yours. God bless you.

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