My scar makes me cry...

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My scar makes me cry...

by Myrna
(Lakewood NJ)

5 months after surgery

How do I feel about my scar?

I had a double bypass open heart surgery 5 months ago... I feel soooo sad and stress about it... I want to cry or I sometimes do cry when I'm in the shower or try to wear a shirt and can't wear it cause it shows...

And watching my friends at the pool wearing bathing suits and I'm on a side sitting on a chair watching them... and me wearing a t-shirt and shorts... I feel out of the group... just don't want to be there... I wish I could remove my scar...

I'm soooooo very stressssssssss about it. :-(

Myrna 45
in Lakewood NJ

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My scar makes me cry...

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two x two
by: thomas bibik

I am recovering from a double bypass and double valve replacement. Its been 7 weeks I feel great.
I have read the above comments. Let your feelings flow, negative or positive they're your feelings, no one can deny your feeling. I went through many layers of thought on the whole operation. I truly understand the feelings of the female since time the female body has been elevated to be the one object that make men chase after you,that is if you're shallow, materialistic. It's what is inside that is what is important. You can't love others until you love yourself. I am proud to be a member of the zipper club, great t-shirts on the web. I am 64 male my feelings abound with a great deal of thanking the man above for each minute I am here on earth. Love your children, husband, parents and friends. It sure beats the alternative.

Thomas Bibik

be proud
by: Anonymous

having a scar due to a serious health issue. we should ware signs on how proud and happy we are to be alive. probably alot of people in there lifetime will suffer some type of misfortune like a scar. life is a gift from god a scar who cares they fade alot in time i'm sure your a beautiful women its just superficial it doesn't define you. wear it proudly jenna hospice rn il. lol

TO BARBARA
by: Anonymous

YOUR STORY IS THE SAME AS MINE
except i am 20,
imagine if you were 20
imagine how much worse that would be
to have your body ruined by the scar at 20
instead of 59
to have no symptoms but to have to have the scar for no reason.

i felt SO SO BLEAK, desolate, i cried all day and all night for months. but now it is done, i deal with it. it is hard sometimes, but humans are more capable than you think

what are your thoughts on it now time has passed?

hmm
by: Anonymous

i've found its easier to tell people, like, WHEN they see it. if i told them first they'd build it up really bad in their heads. so i keep it completely secret until the last possibly second and casually drop it in and it forces them to have to quickly adjust and just be okay with it.

this is not advice. this is probably not the correct way of going around this. but i just think a lot of the advice on this sight is too idealistic; its like what would work in a really moral and sensible society but actually applying it to real life doesn't work

it isn't a badge of bravery its a horrible scar, and people who say you should be proud are unhelpful, because if you are not proud then it is useless advice

you just have to deal with it the best you can. i'm 19 and i had heart surgery 6 months ago. i'm finally coming to terms with the fact it actually happened and instead of ignoring it i'm starting to want to seek out other people my age this happened to and hear how they cope and just talk to anyone that relates

How can I tell my 16 year old boyfriend?
by: Anonymous

Well hello im 14 and I have a 16 year old boyfriend and I had cancer when I was 10 years old. I want to tell my boyfriend I have a scar across my chest before he sees it. But if you have an answer plz comment.

to the girl who is 18 and having surgery in 4 days
by: Anonymous

how did it go? how are you coping?

Kiss
by: Anonymous

I'm 19 years old, I had heart surgery at the age of 1 and then another 1 this september gone... I hate my scar too darlin, but we should be glad and proud of it. JuS think without this scar we wouldn't be alive. In time it will fade. My 1st scar has faded now I jus gotta wait for this 1 to fade abit

High neckline cami
by: Cindy Fowler

I have recently opened an online store with all high neckline clothing for those who are modest, breast cancer survivors or those with heart scars.
Go to http://www.modesty4me.com

Scar and swimsuits
by: Anonymous

To Wanda,
Were did you find the high-neck swimsuit. I would feel so much more comfortable in a swimsuit that hid the thick scar on my chest.

I have a scar sort of like that :)
by: Anonymous

Hi my names Karly and I'm 16 I had one open heart surgery when I was 11months old and another one this past summer. The scar is really hard to get passed..considering I now have 6 and people ask me about it all the time. There's other people out there just like you. You could try Mederma cream and I'm going to try that when the doc gives me the ok. Also you should try to wear your scar proudly.. not going to lie it's really hard, but it shows you are a fighter and you made it.

18 and scared
by: Yarrow

I'm an 18 year old girl, and i just found out I have a birth defect in my aorta and need part of it replaced. My surgery is in 4 days. I feel fine. I am so terrified and sad about having a scar. Im not sure that any one will find me beautiful. In fact, i'm pretty sure they won't. No one seems to understand my fear. They tell me scars are cool. At this point, I feel like I disagree.

I know exactly how you feel.
by: Barbara

I am 59 years old and recently found out I need an aortic valve replacement. My reaction has been one of utter panic and despair. Initially, I refused the op as the thought of suddenly dropping down dead was much less scary and the thought of that scar makes me feel physically sick. I still feel the same but my husband and children won't let me consider not having the op which will be very soon after Christmas. I know a lot of my fears are illogical and vain but I can't help the way I feel. It does not help saying I will feel so much better after because I have no symptoms and I feel as If the doctors may as well be telling me they are going to cut off my right arm. I spend much of my time alone crying and am finding it impossible to find any positives in what lies ahead.

positive thoughts
by: Maja

Hi!
I had an open heart surgery when I was 6 (now 26).

When I was a kid I used to love showing my scar because kids thought it was sooooo cool and dangerous :)

Nowadays I have absolutely no problem with my cleavage or wearing clothes that would show it.

In my experience, if you don't mind it, no one else will.

Oh, and btw. I also noticed that a scar across your chest gives guys a great excuse to stare at your boobs ;)

Please cheer up and go to that positive place in your mind and you'll be great!

:*

Chest
by: Lenny

Hi. I had a double bypass in december 2006. My chest still hurts after 5 years. Sometimes it makes me feel a little panicky. I do follow up with my cardio every 3 months and there is nothing he could do for the bone. Is there anyone out there that feel the same I do

as a teenage female
by: Anonymous

i found out
out of the blue that i had a heart defect at 18 and at 19 i had heart surgery and now i have just turned 20.

for me, my scar did not "save my life" because i felt fine before i had it done, it was just preventative of things getting worse 10 to 15 years down to line

for this reason my feelings are irrationally angry, and my scar is so much worse then the one above; it is bumpy and red and keyloidy and im fine and not upset aslong as i dont think about it
(its been about 6 months)

but ever so often when i all my favourite clothes which suit my body shape but I CANT WEAR because of the horrible bumpy scar i get upset. right now i am very very upset.

and im so jealous of you only having to have surgery at your stage of life; im 20 and i should be beautiful and having fun wearing clothes and enjoying looking great but i CANT

part of my brain is accepting of it in the mirror and ive never had any problems with guys rejecting me because of it; its just the clothes issue

i just dont want to make people feel awkward by looking at it when im out. who on earth would talk to/flirt with me if my scar was on show

like if there was a choice between a pretty girl with a scar and a pretty girl without a scar then there is an obvious choice

so im not depressed; im very happy, but as you can probably tell from my rambly comment im so confused of what i think about it all. im ashamed of it and i dont like people knowing. i dont know what to do i want it to disappear

are there any surgical remouvals of like keyloid scars and stuff?

Myrna -scar
by: Bobbie

This is my 3rd comment on this and yes, I will always use my real name, to hide behind 'anonymous' basically tells me that you want to comment, yet are concerned about owning it. It seems that it's a fairly even split. I still hate mine and it's been 4 months now...that opinion will not change. I always turn off the monitor--just to see if they check--and they have not yet--how can a (Merlin) monitor be unplugged and disconnected from the phone line for 3 months and never a call? And it costs how much?

To the 19 year old (Betheny?) pretty name--married, pretty girl--I totally get it and do not blame you one bit.

Keloids
by: Anonymous

After 3 years of a very painful, red, raised scar that my cardiologist didn't seem to car about, I finally saw a dermatologist. She diagnosed it as having keloids. She injected steroids into the scar in about 10 places...which was very painful. But within a few days the pain and itching went away. Soon after that my scar began sink back into my chest. I also faded somewhat. It was such a relief to be rid of the pain! I am not at all ashamed of my scar. I wear it proudly.

I hope you are doing well..
by: Anonymous

I know how you feel. I'm 19 and it will be a year in a week since my first open heart surgery. At times I do cry about what I see in the mirror or when I go to scratch my chest and feel my scar. I'm thankful that I had my surgery done it gave me life. Gave all of us life that had to go through it. You do however get used to it being there, it becomes a part of you. Its always been apart of you except now you can see it. Be proud of yourself. To go through what we've had to shows how strong we are. Your a strong women. Be thankful and know that you are beautiful :)

Julia's Comment
by: Bobbie

It's comments like Julia's...."give me a break" are the very comments that hurt--you are made to feel that you are just being a baby and it's time for the big girl panties....that is so very mean, I too, have been treated and talked to that way and it began the very next day after surgery --by the surgeon of all people. I felt horrible, sore, heart felt weird-I could feel every beat like a drum inside me. The day before I had a 7 hour surgery, no pain meds, no food, no sleep, no movement. He came in (with his daughters age 5 and 3--so unprofessional, I felt that I could not openly discuss in front of them)but I did ask for pain meds -he said "no, usually people are up jogging the next day" then with regards to my heart feeling weird, he said-yeah,it'll go away, you'll get used to it" I said "which one--it will go away and stop doing that or will it continue and I get used to it? b/c you are saying two different things and I want an accurate answer"
he says-"you'll get used to it."
"so, it won't go away--and I don't believe I will get used to it-I would like the settings checked please" then he basically said I was just being over sensitive and I would be fine--I said no, you don't know how I feel-do YOU have one? NO!
SO-WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT and we all process things differently and on our own terms. Nobody can tell me what I feel, why I feel it and what I should feel. Just b/c someone feels it is a 'badge of courage' doesn't mean I think that...personally, I feel violated, I feel ugly, I am constantly being told what I CANNOT do--my life HAS changed forever. I am embarrassed when people 'see' the lump or scar--you can see their mind working--and then they have the nerve to ask--that is personal. I always answer with, I'm sorry, I prefer to not discuss that topic. thanks for your concern though. My family does not/will not know--they don't know anything -not the ef rate, not the tests after tests, not the surgery--nothing at all since this began over 2 years ago. It's MY business and I choose to keep it that way--so, I'm not looking for sympathy--I don't want anyone knowing--I even drove myself to hospital and drove home the next day-I wasn't supposed to drive, but I had no choice--tell or be quiet. I would rather have someone very mad at me b/c I 'didn't come home last night" I figure they will get over it--or maybe they won't--but if I want share my condition then I will, but not like this.

Scar makes me self concious
by: Anonymous

I am a 55 year old woman and even though my bypass surgery was over a year ago, I do not feel comfortable sharing my scar with others. I only went to the swimming pool once this summer and felt very self conscious about my chest scar. I have always been proud of my body and especially my legs and breasts. The grafting scars I have are also ugly. I am very thankful my clogged arteries were found in time to not suffer a heart attack and I am very thankful I am healthy again. However, it is not shallow to feel self conscious about scars.

Men can hide their chest incision with the hair on their chest, women cannot. I wish I felt comfortable wearing a scoop neckline but I do not leave my home with my scar showing at all. During my exercise class I always t-shirts. I used to wear workout clothing with a razor back and scoop neck. I simply don't feel comfortable doing so now that my scar is so apparent. Does the scarring fade or will it always show up as it does now. My surgery was in July 2010.

I know what you mean everyone should read
by: queen of hearts

I am a 19 year old female who has had three open heart surgeries since i was a year old. Everyone who is on the outside looking in tells me to be proud, but they dont know. In this day and age where most of society is superficial one would wish to be scar free. A heart surgery scar is the worse kind of scar to have. I feel so self concious and i feel it is unfair. Everyone says I could have been dead but they are not the ones walking around with the ten inch "battle wound". What makes things worse is that i am an attractive girl!!! My face is beautiful i have hazel eyes long thick black hair thats real and very nices boobs. I have a husband who is in love with my body and he is very attractive. I have never had a problem with guys but i feel its because i am an overall beauty. Still the scar poses a problem to me! I am 19 i want to go to a beach in a bikini, low cut shirts and dresses without people gauwking at my chest! Like i said i never had a problem with men even the ones who did ask about my scar still fought over my attention, i was a model, and people every day tell me im pretty. I know i sound shallow but i am not on here to seem that way. I just wrote this to show that you can have it all physically and still feel hurt by your surgery scar. Its not just the scar its the thought of why ky heart! I have two healthy parents and 6 healthy siblings i am the first amd only in my family to have jad a heart surgery. So for all the people whose had heart surgery and resent the scar just know you are not alone. I dont know any other females with heart surgery so if anyone would like to contact me just leave a comment saying you do and i will be happy to give you my number. Only females please, even though i am 19 i am married lol. If any women need some support, advice on men and the scar, or just another heart surgery survivor with a story to share just let me know :)

Coming to Acceptance
by: Scared to Death

Thanks, anonymous for your comments. Now that I told them at work about the surgery, a lot of stress is off of me. They seemed to be really understanding (I am a teacher) and they offered methods for me to transition back into the job with the permanent substitute while convalescing at home.

I have been doing a lot of research on post-op and feeling better about the surgery scheduled for later this month. While I wish I wan't chosen in life for this problem, I have come to terms with things, prayed for strength, and have gotten busy with holiday shopping for my family. I want them to have a special holiday in spite of my expected long recovery period.

As far as the scar, the current preferred method are silicon sheets. I plan to discuss this with my surgeon next week. If all else fails, I will buy beautiful jewelry and make that my signature. I just thank God that the year is 2011 and that my problem is repairable. I Also sent an email to mendedhearts.org, a national support group for heart patients. I figured talking to real people who survived this odessey good for me, and I hope to be a volunteer for them next year to help others, too.

I hope this post helps many of you who are sad. Please know that you are not alone, and that if you focus on positive things, you will live a fuller, richer life.

God Bless you

to scared
by: Anonymous

I had to have triple bypass surgery last July and didn't get the chance to think about it. I was 54 then. I am your age now. I too am slender and tall. I've never been over my weight guidelines. My mother had a valve replacement at 64.

Modern medicine is amazing. However, I wish I would have researched alternatives. I was scared and the doctors told me I needed the surgery right away. I didn't get to think about it. I am doing well, but I took myself off the statin medicine due to severe joint and muscle pain. I am scared about doing that as again it was doctor recommended. My cholesterol was / is fine, but the prescription is standard protocol after heart surgery.

You will be fine, but take this time to make sure you are confident with your choice to have the surgery. I didn't get that opportunity. The scars have been had for me. As a woman I am embarrassed by them.

Very sad
by: Ms. Anon

I think you look great. I have a scar there myself due to a valve repair last May. It's red and actually looks like a keloid. It's hard for me because I'm a teenager and at the age where I'm supposed to be going out on dates, having fun, and dressing up in the latest trends.

It sucks, huh?

wow
by: Anonymous

girl the last thing i see is that scar.

Scared to death
by: Anonymous

I am 55 and scared as hell. I will need a valve repair and a bypass. I am tall and thin and I have always watched what I eat. I am afraid of the surgery, the pain, losing my job, etc. I can't sleep anymore and all I do when I am alone is cry. I don't know how to tell my kids and I hate the fact that my husband is worried, too. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I don't want to live the life of an invalid.

I just want this all to go away...

scars
by: Amy

I understand. Believe me, I do. I'm a nineteen-year old and I'm now 10 wks post op and there are times when I just suddenly burst out crying.
It's very depressing and I know I shouldn't be over a scar but it's very hard.
My closet is full of dresses and other clothes which I can't wear now because they show so much of my scar. I hate it when friends and relatives stare at it when it shows.

How are you now? Because right now I am going through that phase and I wonder what you did or how long it took for you to finally accept it and be proud of it. (I don't think I'll be going to that stage yet though)

your scar gave you life.
by: 16 year old girl

Your scar is a reminder that you have your whole life ahead of you, that scar gave you life. you should love it whether other people hate or like it it shouldn't matter.

Funny
by: Anonymous

I was a fat guy at 39 when I had my HA and quad bypass. Now at 41 I am a bodybuilder, I have always lifted weights but now my muscles show because of the better diet. I love my scar it's my motivation, I look around the gym at the people who work out everyday but never change, they don't know what it is like to have a second chance. You lived through heart surgery, you already won, life is short enjoy it and don't sweat the little things. Good luck

Some of these comments are just MEAN!
by: Bobbie

I too, am a new recipient of a 'Unify' CRT-D--AND I don't know why, I have never been sick or had any symptoms. I have trained 12-24 weeks for each marathon and I have completed all attempted. You name it, I have done it-biking, yoga, zumba, kick boxing, tae-bo, dancing, rock walls, boot camps, trek up tower, etc. So, why do I have an ef of 35? I met with my cardiologist on a thursday, the surgeon on the following thursday and the next morning (6/10/11) I was in surgery. Came home next day--I DO NOT SEE THIS AS A BADGE OF HONOR or any kind of crap like that--I am not depressed, I am not vain--I have pain in my chest NOW due to incision (now at 6 wks-yes, still pain) I HATE the look of it--the scar is red, ugly and hurts, the lump in upper part of chest is visible as well- I hate it when people ask about it, I hate that I can't do yoga and raise my arm or pretty much anything. I too, have openly questioned this and been told the same thing--'your are looking at this wrong and feeling sorry for yourself' To that I say--I am entitled to MY FEELINGS as is everyone else. But it is not fair to make those of us who feel differently that there is 'something wrong with us" that we are 'depressed' that we should 'see someone about being vain'
We are all different and allowed to have different feelings. My surgeon said to get a bracelet -soon- and wear it 24/7--as this is for life. I said to him--I'm thinking about getting a tattoo of the medic alert instead--it's always with me, I never forget or lose it. His answer "tattoos are stupid, they cause hep c and nobody should have one" I said "I have 8 already, I think I'm good with them and go to a reputable artist, so that's my plan" fact is-he didn't know anything about me, had met me the day before and seen me as just another patient, he was judgmental and rude. Nobody deserves to be judged and told what to feel and why. All of the mean comments on here remind me of that surgeon and I know exactly how these people feel--maybe it's a age thing--I am 48, yet felt/acted/looked like 30-35, but now I am forever 'this person' and I DON"T LIKE IT EITHER. Thank you, my intentions are not to be hurtful--rather to point out that your comments are hurtful.

Our scars
by: Roz Cryer

Hi Myrna
You have the most beautiful cleavage. Thank you for putting this picture out there for us to see. I am 45 too and had open heart surgery just under 4 months ago. The scar's a 21cm wopper running from my clavicles to below my breats with those two blumin small scars where the drainage tubes came out. I live in a seaside town in South Africa and spend my summers on the beach. It's winter here at the moment so I haven't yet worn my bikini... But I will. I know the scar will get stared at but I'm not going to let that put me off. It helps that my gorgeous husband doesn't mind it at all. He calls it my badge of honour and says it doesn't detract from my boobs. You have a beautiful cleavage and don't be ashamed about the scar or try and hide it. I found a silver angel wing pendant the other day that sits just where my heart is. It also makes me cry. We've been through a hell of a lot and for my part I am just so grateful to be alive and feeling well. We have a story to tell and our scars show that.
Thank you again.
Roz Cryer

Proud of my scar
by: Wanda

I am so sorry that you feel the way you do about your scar. Actually it looks fantastic! I just had triple bypass surgery after a sudden heart attack a month ago yesterday. I am so glad to be happy that I wear my scar proudly. I don't hide it and if someone should ask about it I will tell them that it is my survivor badge. Wear it proudly and don't let it make you sad or keep you from doing anything you want to do. You are beautiful from the inside out. I get more embarrased from my age showing in my hands that I am my scar.

It wasn't our time to go. We got a second chance to do all the things we wished we had and haven't. Shake it off and just enjoy being alive.

Best Wishes,

Wanda Santiago

Give me a break.
by: Julia

I had open heart surgery in 2000 and the scar was the least of my concern, I was 39 when I had this. I am now 50 The scar will fade in time, it has not been long enough since yours for it to be any better, my scar never embarassed me I survived, it was hell, but I lived, you are young, give it time. If you wore a baithing suit before wear it...you had the surgery for a reason, yes the scar is a reminder but get over it, in time it will be a lot better. If someone laughs or says something to you about the scar they are not your friend anyway.
Be glad you are alive and doing well enough to be able to go swiming.
If you are that vain about a scar, you should see a dr for that problem because you are not putting your priorities in the right place. Perhaps you need an anti-depressant if you are crying about a scar.

How are you now?
by: Anonymous

Hi Myrna - how is your scar now - it is a while since you posted. I am now 20 months past surgery and currently receiving steroid injections which are having SOME effect on the 5 earthworms parading up my chest! I still don't like showing my scar - even with makeup on to hide the redness.. Whenever I have worn clothes that showed it - people ask what it is and I feel I have to explain - sometimes people judge you for having to have bypass surgery as if you haven't looked after yourself. I have always lived as healthily as I could! I'd like tnot to have to justify mysekf all the time - so I hide the scar.

I have had open heart surgery 6 times
by: Anonymous

Hi my name is Bethany I am 16 years old

and i have had open heart surgery when i was born up until a couple of years ago and i will be having another one soon.

For the longest time i didn't go to school because of my in and out hospital trips, i just realized i should tell you what went wrong :) i was born with only one heart valve in my heart. when i went to school in 4th grade i got asked a lot of question one was could i catch what you have? i didn't know it was abnormal to have scares all over your chest your stomach, and arms. i cried every once in a while wishing i could make them go way but you cant.

now i am 16 years old and my scares hurt me that's how i came across this trying to find things to make my scares stop hurting. i just wanted to tell you my story and tell you i wish my scares looked as good as yours.

Everything happens for a reason and its good to let things pass through you and not be fazed. be strong and happy :) always

bethy <3

SMALL
by: Anonymous

THE SCAR YOU HAVE IS SMALL GET OVER IT

Nervous about wearing a bathing suit
by: Anonymous

In a couple weeks, I will be wearing a bathing suit for the first time after triple bypass surgery in July 2010. It has been four months since I had my surgery. I am really nervous about wearing a bathing suit. Most of my family will see my scars on my chest and inner side of both legs for the first time. I know I shouldn't care that much about my appearance but I do.

The comments noted were good to read even though some were a bit harsh. Yes, I feel very fortunate to be alive. However, I am very self conscious about my scars. I am 54 years old and a grandmother of a soon to be three-year-old. The pool party is for his third birthday party.

I am sad but i glad i am alive
by: Novea

Hi, I am deaf

I Had the same surgery 3 year ago mine worse than your my neck scar to down chest and my stomach too

I am glad I am alive same thing I feel sad and disappointed, crying on the bed same thing I wear shirt and I do love pool now I can't pool because I feel bother me them look at me like that I not comfortable myself.

I want do something to fix remove my scar on my chest...

I am glad u are alive god bless you. :)

your's looks way better than mine!
by: Anonymous

I had the same surgery as you did 5 months ago ... mine looks so much worse than yours as mine is still raised, purple and red. Yours looks wonderful and is healing nicely. Be thankful for that and be thankful you are alive.

I'm 17 and recently had a heart surgery + my friend (18) has had 5 and wasn't expected to live past 5years old
by: Denise

Mam, I'm 17 I had a heart surgery on July 21. My family and I missed the flight to our 8 day Hawaii trip because I was hospitalized... And I'm sorry to say this but hearing what you had to say disturbed me.

To start off thank God for letting you live! You should be thankful for that. I definately am, I could have died from what I had. I had a very rare (especially for my age) non-cancerous tumor called atrial myxoma in my left artrium, it was about 2 inches big. When I got there they were surprised that nothing big had happened to me. And before my heart surgery I was suffering from really bad pain. I couldn't even walk beacause it hurt like heck to even stand. I was a really athletic person but my pains were triggered by pressure, so I couldn't run, jump,etc... but thank God, because now I'm back to normal and almost done recovering!

Don't be ashamed of your scar, I'm not going to be. When it's alright for me too, I'm still going to wear tank tops, a cute bathing suit, dresses, ect. Even for my senior picture which is in 2 days I'm going to wear a beautiful dress that I'd wear with or without my scar. And people from my class will see my picture in the future and I don't care what they think. Because I am not less beautiful with my scar and this scar is a reminder to me that God gave me a second chance to live and I'm so thankful for that. So you don't be ashamed of your scar, you're not less beautiful.

And you know, I also have a friend I grew up with she's 18 and she's had 5 open heart surgerys and a liver or lung(don't know which one)removed so it's harder for her to breathe, she wasn't even suppose to live this long because of her heart problem. But I'm so glad she is, she's one of my best friends so it'd hurt to lose her. And she's not ashamed of her scars(she has a lot) either.

So I hope you read my message and it inspired you to not be ashamed of your scar. And you know, eventually you can wear what you use to wear you just need to use sunblock, that's what I'm going to do. And on occasions you can cover it with makeup. =]

.
by: Anonymous

grow up mahn, i got the scar down my whole chest. have done since i was 4 years old.
its just a scar. dosn't make you any different, you just gotta live with it. i went through primery school getting laughed at cozz of it. you dont look that young to me :/ Ohh and i gotta have another opperation in the same place.making an even bigger scar. i aint posted a picture on the internet looking for simpathy, grr people like you make me mad.
get help.

My Scar
by: Stephanie

I understand how you feel. I actually have a scar there also. I cry every time i go shopping because whenever i look at girls getting low cut shirts i always wish i could do that to. I also look at pretty shirts and they are always low and i never get to buy them. My Scar had changed my life it was my asthemia gravis. I know it saved my life and i shouldn't be ashamed of that, but it still makes me cry.When i wear low cut shirts i wear necklaces. So that's how i also feel about my scar and how i know how you feel.

Hope this helps
by: Anonymous

For the rest of us who don't like our scar there is a makeup called Dermablend that is made for people with scars, stretch marks, birth marks and so on. It covers so well you could cover up tattoos with it. Also it is waterproof so you can wear it to the beach. It looks like your scar is healing well remember to apply SPF to prevent it from further damage.

Best wishes.

I understand
by: Bryan B.

I completely understand. I had problems with my scars when I was a child. See I had heart surgery at age 2. I can just tell you the scar will slowly disappear with time and that there are products that help in making the scars less noticeable.

You also might want to sit down and think is what is making you cry the scar or perhaps what you went through that gave you that scar? It can be quite traumatic and upsetting and the scar could just be what is reminding you of it.

Scar makes U cry
by: Ernie

Come on! enough is enough..you are beautiful woman..get the suntan and it will be less noticeable. And what the heck, you are ALIVE! I don't care about my scar..please do the same. 53 yr old male that had bypass surgery 10 weeks ago..on 2/2/2010 and heart attack on 9/1/2009... still alive and kicking.

my scar
by: michelle

I had heart surgery back in July, I felt the same way you do for a long time. Now i don't mind showing my scar, actually i feel kinda proud of it, ya know, like hey I made it through all that crap and here's the proof.

Being Proud of having a scar
by: Anonymous

Am sorry, but you should be proud of your scar. If that scar wasn't there then you may be dead (harsh but true).

No one should feel ashamed of their scar.

Yes, it takes a while to get used to it but then again I've had 37 years to get used to mine: I was born with a heart defect. I love flaunting my scar, I love showing it off as well as the many other scars I have from my heart operation.

I flaunt it as much as possible just to make the people who stare uncomfortable. I know they are staring but it is them who has the problem with the scar not me.

I have a great set of breasts too, which I show off :)I have had a lot of teenagers, adults come to me through congenital heart defects who were ashamed of their scars and I said if that scar was not there would you right now be talking to me. That scar is there to say hey look at me, I got a chance of a second life.

If I had no scar I would be dead and so would a lot of other people.

Be proud of your scar - it's there because it saved your life.

I am sorry if I have come across badly but believe me you will get kind people asking what is that scar from because they are interesting in knowing. You will meet a lot of people through your scar.

Be proud of your scar.

My Opinion.
by: Anonymous

WOw. I am 17 years old and a girl. I had open heart surgery 2 years ago. I don't care about my scar and neither should you. It doesn't matter. It's kind of pathetic that you care that much about it. I wear v-necks and low tops a lot. No one cares that much about it.

The Scar Fades
by: Anonymous

I had a quad bypass in 2001 and the scar has faded and is now the color of the skin surrounding it. There is a guy at my gym who noticed mine and told me had had one too but his scar is completely gone, so you might be lucky like him.

My scar bothers me some times but hey I get flirted with a lot so I guess it's worse to me than to others so just remember, we are all alive thanks to the operation that left the scar.

Note: two months after I had my quad bypass I went to a baseball game and saw Darryl Kile play. He died the next weekend from a 90% blockage of his arteries (which is what I had plus two more blockages). He was 34. I'd rather have the scar and I bet if he had known of the heart trouble (it appears he did not), I bet he and his loved ones would prefer the scar too.

i know the feeling
by: Anonymous

I know the feeling, i have had two open heart surgery's and two other ones on my heart, that left two huge scars on my back, that looks like i had wings that were cut off (one of my friends said it's like i use to be an angel). I use to cry about this all the time.

i had my first three surgery in my first three years of life and i used to be proud when i was little, and flash people and tell them i had a broken heart. Now that I'm 19 i advisory don't do that, and having a "broken heart" isn't cute any more, i have felt embarrassment, and have gotten really sad because of it.

i had my last surgery when i was about to be 16 and the scar is a keloid, it grew so much bigger then the last ones, and its almost a purple color.

With my condition every ten years i need to get my valve and conduit replaced, so i will constantly have a new scar. i feel so out of place with my friends who are all very pretty girls, and i absolutely hate pools or beaches,but i keep going because i don't want to be left out, even tho i still feel awkward around them. i know my scar is the first thing people look at. most , if not all had my friends have said that to me at some point or another. i had had boyfriends tell me id look better without it, i have had people tell me i couldn't work at certain jobs because of it.

But in the end, i love who i am, i love that i have an extra scanner of peoples personalities that other people don't have, i think it is ridiculous for someone to judge anyone because of the way skin tissue heels when someone had a life saving surgery. i know how you feel, but to the people who count in your life, the ones that mean anything, they will think the same way!

I know exactly what u're talking about
by: Anonymous

I got the same scar since i was 15. It made me cry for so long. i always hoped that i would wake up one day and find it gone but i guess it's not happening. at the end, i lost hope. I just hide it.

Career
by: Anonymous

That depends on the career you want to have, of course but I am over 50, have been unemployed for a year and had my heart surgery during that time. I work in IT and I thought that I would have great difficulty getting back into work. However, I have just been offered and accepted a much better job than I was made redundant from a year ago. It almost just seems that it was meant to be.

If you have the surgery you will be in a much better position to get the career you want. When you are 15 it is difficult to appreciate time and that you really have to give yourself time to have the surgery and get better. Life will go on around you but in a few years you will look back and realise that in a lifetime this is not long and you will be able to pick up your life and make the very best of it.

As for the scar - I don't know what to say - you may be lucky and have a scar that heals really well. If not, you may be able to get a revision. You should talk about it to your doctors, I was too embarrased to mention it initially as I felt I was being vain until I realised that I was not alone in how I felt and I should be past worrying about it at my age - you are young.

Whatever else happens - you will come out of this much stronger as a person and able to cope better with whatever comes to you in life. Any man who really loves you will not mind the scar.

I wish you all the best.

You look great to me!
by: Anonymous

First off I am 29 year old man and you look great to me, looking at the picture, I notice the scar, but, it does not take way from your beauty. Besides you have other nice qualities around that area, a lot of woman would love to have your boobs woman! Take care!

.
by: Anonymous

I'm fifteen and I'm about to have Aortic route surgery. I am petrified about having a scar, at only fifteen I feel that I will be judged harder and not be able to do the career I want.

NOT superficial
by: Anonymous

I too had a double bypass 4 months ago only slightly older than you at 53. The scar is only part of what bothers me - mine looks worse than yours - redder and more raised. I too feel isolated - bypass in females our age is unusual - I have to overcome the feeling that I am in the wrong place twice a week when I go to rehab - full of older men- and I'm MUCH fitter than any of them. This makes me feel uncomfortable. My husband tells me to wear it as a badge of pride as well but unless you have it you DO NOT know how it feels. It adds to that feeling of isolation and I can fully understand how you feel. I am really surprised at how upset I am about it as it should be something superficial. What I am trying to say is that it is just part of that overall feeling that there is something odd about you because you have had to have this surgery.

I just keep telling myself that these feelings will subside as I get fitter and get back to a normal life - I was made redundant from work 3 months before I discovered I needed this surgery and am still unemployed - too much time to think - but I've always been determined not to give in to feeling sorry for myself as I have been given a second chance and do feel better than I did before the surgery.

My feelings, and I'm sure yours, are complex - please don't anybody say it is superficial - anything to do with heart surgery is not superficial.

I wish you all the best - the scars - mental and physical will fade.

Scared but Optimistic
by: Brian

Hello Myrna,

I just found out that I have to have Aortic Valve replacement and I too feared the scar. I am 37 years old and already suffer low self esteem, but everyone tells me that this is your battle scar, this is your story, this is your second chance at life. The people who love and care about you do not care that you have a scar. Those strangers on the street may look but remember, you are here because you were given a new life. You were given the chance to stay here with those you love. I think your scar is beautiful. And I am glad there are others out there that felt the way I do right now. I will soon have my own battle scar and I am hoping mine looks as great as yours after only 5 months.

Brian 37
Seattle, WA

Alive
by: patti

A scar makes you cry? Come on; a scar is so superficial! Like what colour of lipstick do I want to wear tonight. Be brave, bold, and go out there and tell the world that you have conquered this event in your life and you are still alive! Wear that scar as a badge of courage and honour not something to cover up. Hey...it could be a great conversation piece!...good luck.

I know how you feel
by: jeny

I had open heart surgery on June 1 2008 I am 25 years old now. I had an atrial septal defect and the hole was too big for the non-invasive catheterization procedure.

Now when I first got out of surgery, the scar was a thin line... now it is just so big and ugly and makes me cry too. It is hard being a woman with a scar like this. It is so superficial but it still effects me when I go to the beach... wear certain tops and try to be sexy for my husband. I usually put makeup over it... but it is still obvious.

BTW your scar is really nice... it is barely noticeable!

Don't ever let your scar upset you.
by: Joey

I was 3 when I had open heart surgery at the Hospital for Sick Children, in Toronto, and I have never been ashamed of my scar. In fact, I'm glad its still here after 14 years. My scar is a reminder of the determination, hope, perseverance, and strength that makes the human race so incredible. That we are capable of fixing these types of problems is truly inspiring, and the scars you and I wear are proof that these problems CAN be fixed and will NOT constrain our freedom in ANY way, whether it be it the freedom to try on that beautiful necklace in the jewelry store or the freedom to put on a bathing suit and have some fun at the pool with your friends.

Embrace your scar. Embrace yourself. Be free.

A reminder that you're alive !
by: Tony

I had surgery 4 months ago (May 2009). At first
I was negative about it, now I show it off. You're a
survivor and an angel, your scar tells a story. Maybe you have a message for people. Most people have one chance, we have 2 chances lucky.

re: scar
by: susan

Hello Myrna!

Your scar is your badge of survival! My scar on my chest and my left arm(radial artery was harvested for one of my grafts, I had 4 bypasses) used to bother me so much for the first six months and even had revision done to them. After my open heart surgery, my chest and my arm were healing fine until a few months after that they went hypertrophic. Similar to kelloid but not as bumpy. When I went for plastic surgery I had high hopes and then after the revision my scars went back to how it was before. My plastic surgeon said it is the way I heal. So after that, I just accepted it. I healed better physically and psychology.

That is all I can say! I feel normal as anybody else. What is important is that you and I are alive and be with our love ones.

Your scar is your badge of honor
by: Sandra

Hi Myrna,

For five months in, I think your scar, judging by the photo, looks really minimal.

I don't have a scar, although I face having one in the future as I am going to have my aortic valve replaced.

I can tell you I've thought a lot about it and I found some comfort in Kathy Kastan's book From the Heart where she has a photo of her own scar. She sees it as her badge of honor.

My mother had a scar that was pretty angry looking at first but over the years it faded so much I don't recall noticing it at all.

The truth is you are alive and you are beautiful. The important thing is you are here today and you have a second chance at life. Over time your scar (and your reaction to it) will fade away. It will become fainter and fainter.

You are still in the early days...Wanda offers some great advice. Keep in touch. We care.

Your scar will fade - don't let it keep you down
by: Wanda

I understand about your scar - I had double bypass 8 months ago and have the same scar. The top part is fading well now, along with the scars from the chest tubes, though they're still noticeable on my fair skin. The bottom part is thicker and will take a long time to fade completely . My husband says I should be proud of my "battle scars" because they're the reason I'm still here to live a good life with him.

I wear a swimsuit, but I found a beautiful high-necked one that protects the sensitive area from too much sun when I swim or kayak. Maybe you could try that - many places sell them. I wear tank tops and scoop neck tees - if anyone notices the scar, they don't mention it.

The most important thing is to concentrate on getting healthy. If you're crying over your scar and feeling depressed a lot, you should consult your doctors -- you may be depressed or you may be having side effects from medications. Depression can get in the way of recovery - it saps your strength and will to do healthy things. Please don't let it win. Reach out to friends, exercise and eat right. Try to focus on the joy in life rather than the bypass scar. You are much more than your scar!

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