I wish I knew....my story.

by Bobbie
(Council Bluffs, IA)





I am a 48 year old female. I feel, look and behave as in my 30's. I keep up with all of my 30 year old friends. marathons, biking challenges, trek up tower (stairs in tall building) rock walls, tae-bo, kick boxing, zumba and yoga--kick and zumba-my favorites!

I have been married since 1978-August 2011 will be 33 years. I have a 30 yr. daughter, 31 yr old son in law, 6 yr old granddaughter, 25 yr old son and 50 yr old husband. I am always mistaken for mommy, instead of grandma for 6 yr old.
Backup 2 years and I changed OB/GYN docs...discussing my anxiety led to wearning a 24 hr heart monitor--which led to meeting my cardiologist and diagnosis of CHF-ef of 45. cath lab showed zero blockage, added 2.5mg lisinopril. two years of stress tests, many echos, radioactive dye tests, addition of coreg and spiron...now rate is down to 32-35 on 6/2/11-sent to surgeon on 6/9/11, in surgery next morning on 6/10/11 having a Unify Three Lead CRT-D implanted and went home on 6/11/11. I did not have 'time' to digest information, research, come to grips--nothing--they just did it--I was never shown 'proof' --giving the sort of person who NEEDS proof of everything. I felt hurried into this--questions unanswered, nurse called prior employer for me and without asking WHO she wanted or who she was talking to--she went forward with the standard pre-surgery questions-now THEY were calling me and asking--something I didn't need or want.
The day of surgery (next day) I went into OR at 9:30am--surgery ended at 2:30pm--so much for 2, maybe 3 hours at the most. Terrible experience all the way around--no food, no bed, no pain meds. Came home on Saturday the 11th. Was told to get a medic id bracelet asap as this was for life-I said, what about a tattoo instead? it makes sense- always with you, never lost, forgotten, broken..simple direct solution, right? nope--clearly the surgeon doesn't think highly of them and says NO-they are stupid, cause Hep C and a waste of money. really? I have 8 already and I'm good--I use a reputable source who I trust. he goes on to say that people just do that for 'attention'--he was the most pompous %$$ that I have met in quite some time. To completely judge a group of people with tattoos is just plain mean. Most are there to memorialize family that have passed, wedding, childrens, etc...that is not frivolous--it is one of the most sincere ways to memorialize people,events, ect.
Regardless of what he thinks I'm to get one.
now at present day, just 2 weeks to go--but somehow I doubt that I will be back to normal by then--I certainly do not expect a miracle in two weeks,
I have been worried about pullimg put the leads as they say they will have to back in again--and I JUST cannot do that! I have found a local support that meets qtr.
I do have one funny story: a week into this, I asked my daughter to pick me up so we could shop, hang out and have lunch. They picked me up and we had fun--we went to kohl's and they have the double security fields, so I was freaked out, fearing a shock....so, my daughter held open one set of doors for me and my granddaughter held the other set--And she screams---"c'mon Grandma, GO NOW" and I ran through! Of course on the way out--same thing, plus my daughter remote started the car--so,I look like a total thief, complete with a get away car..but the look on the employees faces as well as customers was just priceless. I came home and wrote down the story and put it in hopechest that they will find someday. I hope they remember it and it gives them a laugh!
That's really about it for me--however, in May 2009 we were told that my husband had stage 3b lung cancer--we do not smoke, nor are we around it--he said he has @ 5 months to live....what? so he requested the strongest possible. We had 9 months of HELL--and I don't know how but he only missed one day and two years later-all is good! My company downsized in 2010 and I lost my 12 year benefits administrator position--I was good at it too, but I knew it was coming...a few other positions as well. so- we lost over half our income and me feeling bad about it and useless---etc...so, we have had very stressful years lately. As they say- this to shall pass.



































































































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