I wish I knew....my story.

by Bobbie
(Council Bluffs, IA)

Slight Attitude

Slight Attitude

Slight Attitude
Here's me-having fun all by myself-as usual.
Just me
Grandma and Alissa

I am a 48 year old female. I feel, look and behave as in my 30's. I keep up with all of my 30 year old friends. marathons, biking challenges, trek up tower (stairs in tall building) rock walls, tae-bo, kick boxing, zumba and yoga--kick and zumba-my favorites!

I have been married since 1978-August 2011 will be 33 years. I have a 30 yr. daughter, 31 yr old son in law, 6 yr old granddaughter, 25 yr old son and 50 yr old husband. I am always mistaken for mommy, instead of grandma for 6 yr old.
Backup 2 years and I changed OB/GYN docs...discussing my anxiety led to wearing a 24 hr heart monitor--which led to meeting my cardiologist and diagnosis of CHF-ef of 45. cath lab showed zero blockage, added 2.5mg lisinopril. two years of stress tests, many echos, radioactive dye tests, addition of coreg and spiron...now rate is down to 32-35 on 6/2/11-sent to surgeon on 6/9/11, in surgery next morning on 6/10/11 having a Unify Three Lead CRT-D implanted and went home on 6/11/11. I did not have 'time' to digest information, research, come to grips--nothing--they just did it--I was never shown 'proof' --giving the sort of person who NEEDS proof of everything. I felt hurried into this--questions unanswered, nurse called prior employer for me and without asking WHO she wanted or who she was talking to--she went forward with the standard pre-surgery questions-now THEY were calling me and asking--something I didn't need or want.
The day of surgery (next day) I went into OR at 9:30am--surgery ended at 2:30pm--so much for 2, maybe 3 hours at the most. Terrible experience all the way around--no food, no bed, no pain meds. Came home on Saturday the 11th. Was told to get a medic id bracelet asap as this was for life-I said, what about a tattoo instead? it makes sense- always with you, never lost, forgotten, broken..simple direct solution, right? nope--clearly the surgeon doesn't think highly of them and says NO-they are stupid, cause Hep C and a waste of money. really? I have 8 already and I'm good--I use a reputable source who I trust. he goes on to say that people just do that for 'attention'--he was the most pompous %$$ that I have met in quite some time. To completely judge a group of people with tattoos is just plain mean. Most are there to memorialize family that have passed, wedding, children, etc...that is not frivolous--it is one of the most sincere ways to memorialize people,events, etc.
Regardless of what he thinks I'm to get one.
now at present day, just 2 weeks to go--but somehow I doubt that I will be back to normal by then--I certainly do not expect a miracle in two weeks, I have been worried about pulling put the leads as they say they will have to back in again--and I JUST cannot do that! I have found a local support that meets qtr.
I do have one funny story: a week into this, I asked my daughter to pick me up so we could shop, hang out and have lunch. They picked me up and we had fun--we went to kohl's and they have the double security fields, so I was freaked out, fearing a shock....so, my daughter held open one set of doors for me and my granddaughter held the other set--And she screams---"c'mon Grandma, GO NOW" and I ran through! Of course on the way out--same thing, plus my daughter remote started the car--so,I look like a total thief, complete with a get away car..but the look on the employees faces as well as customers was just priceless. I came home and wrote down the story and put it in hope chest that they will find someday. I hope they remember it and it gives them a laugh!
That's really about it for me--however, in May 2009 we were told that my husband had stage 3b lung cancer--we do not smoke, nor are we around it--he said he has @ 5 months to live....what? so he requested the strongest possible. We had 9 months of HELL--and I don't know how but he only missed one day and two years later-all is good! My company downsized in 2010 and I lost my 12 year benefits administrator position--I was good at it too, but I knew it was coming...a few other positions as well. so- we lost over half our income and me feeling bad about it and useless---etc...so, we have had very stressful years lately. As they say- this to shall pass.

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Reader From Ohio
by: Buck

It seems like everything you spend a lifetime building can be taken away so quickly. It is a scary thing when bad health creeps up on you and everything is so confusing because they use the big medical terms instead of talking to you in english. Needless to say, I can tell you have been on the emotional train like alot of us that have heart problems. My doctor just came rigt out and said that he didn't know why my blodd pressure was high after the stress test and then went on to joke "it's probably just your age". I didn't find it funny. No matter what the good thing is that you are not going anywhere just yet. As long as you feel okay then enjoy your days because when I first had my heart attack I was afraid to do anything. That in itself made me feel already dead so I decided to just try my best to do what the doctors tell me to but to also live and take the time to spend with those I care about most. I will pray for you and your family. Also maybe it helps to know that others know what you went through and are still going through. There is nothing worse than noone understanding or caring. Bless

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