(New Orleans, Louisiana)
On November 9,2011 I had a quadruple bipass and up until now I still regret the decision I have made. I am totally going through what I call some mental issues behind this. I appreciate God giving me another chance to live but I can not deal with the looks of the scars nor can I handle the pain that I feel everyday. I am a 45 year old female who had stent placement in 2005 which clotted off 3 times and the doctor's felt there was no need to replace them again and that this was the only option. I don't know how to get pass this and would like for anyone to help me through this along with the pain. I felt like I was useless because when I first came home I had to have people help me to get in and out of bed and along with that they had to help me to take baths...that was the worst. I had to learn how not to do anything for a while and depend on others and couldn't handle that very well. Overall I can breath a lot better but I still don't know how to handle the scars. Maybe after the pain is totally gone and the scars aren't so noticeable I'll get back to my normal everyday self. I am currently trying to find some help from a psychiatrist who can understand the feelings that I am having and by the Grace of God I have not totally lost it. I appreciate the stories that I am reading and hopefully I can be as appreciated of the surgery as some of those who stories I have read but until I am at that point....this is the worst decision I have made and I hope that I can get past this as you all have.