by Charlandra
(New Orleans, Louisiana)

On November 9,2011 I had a quadruple bipass and up until now I still regret the decision I have made. I am totally going through what I call some mental issues behind this. I appreciate God giving me another chance to live but I can not deal with the looks of the scars nor can I handle the pain that I feel everyday. I am a 45 year old female who had stent placement in 2005 which clotted off 3 times and the doctor's felt there was no need to replace them again and that this was the only option. I don't know how to get pass this and would like for anyone to help me through this along with the pain. I felt like I was useless because when I first came home I had to have people help me to get in and out of bed and along with that they had to help me to take baths...that was the worst. I had to learn how not to do anything for a while and depend on others and couldn't handle that very well. Overall I can breath a lot better but I still don't know how to handle the scars. Maybe after the pain is totally gone and the scars aren't so noticeable I'll get back to my normal everyday self. I am currently trying to find some help from a psychiatrist who can understand the feelings that I am having and by the Grace of God I have not totally lost it. I appreciate the stories that I am reading and hopefully I can be as appreciated of the surgery as some of those who stories I have read but until I am at that point....this is the worst decision I have made and I hope that I can get past this as you all have.

Comments for CCJones

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Scar Worry
by: Anonymous

I had a quadruple on 9/1/11. The first few weeks were hard, doubt, but the scar is the last thing on my mind. Living a healthy life and being grateful for a "second life" is all that should be of concern. If a book's cover is damaged or torn does it mean the inside of the content of the book is not worthy? Hopefully with time you will get over your anxiety.

My Black Is Beautiful
by: LeeLee

Dear,beautiful friend please know that you are truly blessed. You are experiencing a great deal of pain, emotionally and physically.Despite the fact that you endured a serious survived it for a reason. You are looking at your scars as a disfigurement.I see them as an option of life.I see beyond the scars.When I think of you I focus on how beautiful and humble you are.Know that beyond your scars lies a life that is worthy of God's healing.Embrace life and love. As God looks beyond our imperfections we must do the same. To get beyond the depths of being emotionally torn it would benefit you to seek counseling
This will allow you to vent, express and heal in a therapeutic way.Ann, you are intelligent,smart,humble and carefree person. To know you is to love you.Remember my dear friend beauty is skin deep and in the eyes of the beholder .......know your black is beautiful !!!!

Post Heart Surgery blues
by: Lois Potter

Every one has some issues after heart surgery. Being afraid, very tired, depression,n a couple more yrs the scar will be faded away to a very thin line. It is normal to have pain in the sternum area. Sometimes there is pain in your shoulders and legs. Your fingers might be numb. Talk to your doctor most heart pts who have had open heart are put on a nerve med to help them get through the panic and worry. It is normal to feel this way.. my email is if you need some support!!!!

by: Anonymous

i feel very bad for you for thinking this decision was not the right one... and i feel bad that you went thru this at such a young age... but i am glad you are alive, and unless you live in a nudist colony...the scars won't show. you are young and have a long life ahead of you... so try to overcome those feelings and know that in time you will feel much better physically and emotionally.just like the help you received in the beginning, the mental health will help you as well. you'll do great, and obviously needed the bypass. my brother in law had quintuple bypass this past summer, and thought he would never feel the same... but he is feeling good, scars and all and is back playing golf 3x a week, and enjoying will too!
try to enjoy the holidays and keep your chin up!!

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